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Bringing up Children

Bringing up Children

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As Islam is a religion of living, it has provided guidelines and rituals that suite a person’s life in any situation. The guidelines are given to us through the teachings of Allah (SWT) and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP), so to help mankind in every aspect of its social and personal affairs such that servitude fills every aspect of life. Thus, by utilizing the guidelines in his/her daily life, a person can experience the prosperous life Allah (SWT) has intended for him.
Among the most comprehensive teachings is the teaching and training of children. As children are God given signs and blessings under our care (1), parents are responsible (2) towards their health, growth and education. According to the Holy Quran, parents are rewarded for the proper teaching (3) of their children and reprimanded for inappropriate (4) teaching.
According to the teachings of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) parents have certain duties in regards to their children, that they must strive to complete them well. For instance some of these duties are as follows:


1. Dignifying children:
"Dignify your children and train them well and you will be forgave." (5)

2. Choosing a good name:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said, “It is a child’s right, that his/her father chooses a good name for him/her.”(6) Likewise he has said, “A child’s first gift from his/her father is that he/she receives a good name.”(7)

3. Showing affection to child:
The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) has said, “Whoever kisses his/her child, Allah will reward him.”(8) In another saying, it has been recorded, “Kiss your children frequently….”(9)
Along the same lines it has been narrated that one day Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) was kissing Hassan and Hussain (PBUT) when a person saw the scene and said, “I have ten children, and have never kissed any one of them.” The Prophet (PBUH&HP) became so disturbed, that his face turned red and said to the man, “Whoever does not show affection to our young, and does not respect our elders, is not from us.”(10)

4. A child’s health:
The Prophet of Allah (PBUH&HP) has said: “Wash your children from dirt, for the Satan smells dirt, which causes fear of child in sleep, and the angels accompanying the child will be bothered as well.”(11)

5. A child’s nutrition:
Islam has paid specific attention to a child’s nutrition, especially during his/her infancy. It has given great value to a mother who breastfeeds her child. Along these lines, Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said, “When a mother has completed her breastfeeding phase, a great angel will address her saying, “The Lord has forgiven (your sins) ...”(12)

6. Teaching and training children:
The Holy Prophet (PBUH&HP) has said, “Whoever teaches his children Quran, on the Day of Judgment, the child’s parents will be summoned and given clothes of light, which will brighten the faces of those in heaven.”(13)
Likewise, in another saying, the Prophet speaks about the reward of parents when they teach Quran to their kids and train them according to the love of the Great Prophet and Imam Ali (PBUT), “On the Day of Judgment, everyone will be staring at the father and mother and exalt them.”(14)

7. Teaching social and defense skills:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said, “Teach your children the art of swimming and bowmanship.”(15)
Also he had pointed to Amir al-Mu'minin Ali (PBUH), “O Ali! A child’s right is that his/her father teaches him/her good manners and places him/her well in the society.”(16)

8. Children’s marriage:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said, “It is a child’s right upon his father to seek him/her a spouse after his/her maturity age.”

9. Assistance to Children:
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP) has said, “May Allah place His mercy upon the one who assists his/her children in good deeds.” It was asked, “How to help the child in good deeds?” Prophet said, “For the parent to accept what he/she can do and to forgive what’s difficult for him/her…”

10. Justice amongst the children:
The Prophet of Allah (PBUH&HP) said, “Be just among your children; as you would like them to be fair in kindness to you.”(19)
To a man who had two children, but only kissed one, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said, “Why did you not treat the two equally?”(20)
Similarly, the Prophet (PBUH&HP) said, “Make sure you consider fairness in gift giving to your kids.”(21)
Indeed all the high regards given to the children and their training in all aspects from the Islamic point of view is to say that children are men and women of the future. Therefore, if children are trained properly, society will also be on the right track. Otherwise, the human society will be led astray.

Footnotes:
1-The Holy Quran, (16:72)
2-The Holy Quran, (66:6)
3-The Holy Quran, (19:55)
4- The Holy Quran, (42:45)
5-Makarem al-Akhlaq, p. 222
6-al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 49
7-al-Nawader, p. 6
8- al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 49
9-Rawzat al-Waa’edhin, p.369
10- Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 43, p. 282 & 283
11- Oyoon Akhbar al-Reza vol. 2, p. 69
12-Amali Saduq, p. 411 & 412
13- al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 49
14-Bihar al-Anwar, vol. 89, p. 32
15- al-Kaafi, vol. 6, p. 47
16-Man La Yahduroh al-Faqih, vol. 4, p. 372
17- Rawzat al-Waa’edhin, p.369
18- Kitab al-Saraa’ir, vol. 3, p. 595
19- Makarem al-Akhlagh, p. 220
20- al-Ja’fariaat, p. 55
21- al-Khalaf Toosi, vol. 3, p. 564

 

Source: Roshd Islamic Shia Website